a Universal Language "Unibabbleon"

A Universal Language
It has come to my attention that the world is over populated with too many languages. Why, in India alone there are over 100 dialects. In Spain the North doesn’t even understand the southern Spaniard dialect and come to think of it- it is the same reoccurring problem in the USA. The United States and their welcome all policy of huddled masses yearning to speak Engli has garnered an amalgam of different tongues. Press 1 if you understand this, press 2 if you don’t. It is no wonder we fight wars, we simply do not understand each other.
Therefore, be it now known, that there is going to be a new language and though my people have not yet worked out it’s alphabet we have created the definitions that we find will continually be used and most indicative to and of interpretation. This will save a lot of time. Here are the words in sentence form in no particular order.
I am pretty . You are pretty ugly.
Keep your hands up where I can see them. License and registration? AARP?
Bend over it is tax time.
This won’t hurt a bit.
Sure, I will call you.
The check is in the mail.
Here, strap this on.
Mother. Your Mama. Mommie?
The jews did not kill J.R.
Who’s your daddy?
Extenz is the only decent extended warranty.
Now, creating a language that everyone can understand is going to take some effort and I have to point out that America didn’t do well when they tried to convert us to the universal measuring system, metric. Come to think of it I too am getting tired of people trying to convert me.
But a language that everyone, everywhere understands would truly bring us together and solve a myriad of problems. Here are 7 words that if learned , you will never have to worry about unemployment again:
Would you like French fries with that?
How about learning 5 words that all poor ass foreigners learn soon enough:Will the defendant please rise?
Perhaps you come from a country that does not value exercise. You will want to learn this: You are not big boned, there are no fat skeletons.
I do so hope we can implement my idea. Language helps express ideas such as:
Do your cousins marry your cousins?
He who haseth the gold maketh the rules.
I am Woman hear me roar.
Badges? we don't need no stinkin badges!
Can I return this? Are you brain damaged? And my favorite business statement, elegant and simple:
Friends and kin don’t feel it going in.
English is not what it used to be . And Chinese one would have to memorize over 2,000 lines that represent their alphabet . Latin sufficed in its day but when was the last time someone asked you to Carpe Diem. How can we expected to all learn English when its rules have rules which can be broken, as shown: i before e except after c or when sounding like a as in neighbor or sleigh. Respectfully submitted by Jennifer Jason Leigh. Dinner at eight. e-i-e-i-o.
A new language is good for America (and tomorrow , the world.) [end]